Why the child wants the shit

To rub it on himself.
To take good hold of it and rub it on himself.
To take good good (guv guv) hold of it and rub it on himself
To cry hard all night long
To take good and bad and good good (guv guv) hold of it and rub it on himself.

The child: Plots this in every detail
The child: buys the five meter rope, the matches, the hollow buckett
The child: ties the buckett with the rope and lights the matches
The child: burns the rope slowly that leads to the buckett
The child: places a big fat sausage on the edge of the buckett
The sausage: provokes the dog's big nose
The child: approaches the dog
The child: threatens the dog
The child: gets closer
The child: gets closer
The child: cathches the dog in the buckett the rope still burning the matches all over the place
The child: takes the shit
The child: takes the shit
The child: gets hold of the shit
The child: gets good good hold of the shit and rubs it all over himself.