how to wear the dotty shirt tonight with a fur and all

the moment I write something I have to give it a place, to give it life, is this going to work, how is this going to sound in this context and that context, maybe I should go to wales.

no need to worry, darling, just try to take your finger out of your asshole and stick it in your ear. how's things recently, oh, you know here and there, and further away.

I want to do nothing, only watch the good wife, the only thing that keeps me going, gets me going. So tired of worrying about stuff.

No, I don't recognise myself. I am scared like shit and things take their course, they just evaporate leaving nothing behind.

12 months inside nothingness is the best way to describe the last 12 months. LIke no need to pick up the phone or make eggs or even get out of bed, just spill the tea on the sheets and let it dry, put your gown on top of it, so that you don't feel it in the night, like you pissed yourself and just left it there to seep through for eternity. Why is this so fucking hard lately, cause everything means something else, everything needs to be something, to represent something, everything is something else, i have found writing so hard, cause the moment I write, I think is this fucking good enough is this fucking good enough for fucks sake, I do not want to think, I do not want to think anymore, LOBOTOMY, yes, I just want to be, to do, to exist. It is just head lice.