Friday, August 19

Hannah Horvath is the best. She has inspired me to write. To like really write. To say that I miss my girlfriends, all the girly silly things we used to do. Like watch movies and eat pop corn for hours and not caring of getting fat or being lazy, cause you are actually with someone else. But the truth is I did care, I did worry about getting fat or being lazy even when I was with them. Why is it so important to do good things and be productive? To have a goal? To keep going? Can I not be aimless for a while? I just want to lay low, keep it simple and not think about it. But no, I have to be an adult - how to be an adult in ten days - and be productive and generally a good person. I want to be a shitty person. Or I want to be a person that does not have to think what kind of person they are. And saying that already makes me not that person. I know I am blaming my flatmate for the diarrhoea, but actually I have not cleaned the toilet seat once since I have been back. Cause this is a new built, everything seems shiny and therefore clean. But it is not clean, it is not clean and I have to remember that, memo. I will make a note above the toilet - just because it is shiny, it does not mean it's clean. Shouldn't the flatmate clean as well though? I am doing a marathon of girls with G cause I want to watch as much as possible before I move into the new flat. I am thinking of not getting internet there, kind of terrifying as a thought, but I am thinking of not getting internet. If I want to work, I go to work. If I want to rest, I stay at home. I really feel like an internet slave, out of control and running all over the place. Leaving dinner parties to watch netflix and pretending it's too hot. I made an entire group of people move from the sun, the only sunny day in England, into the shade, and then I left to watch netflix. Yeah. Great. But my bed was nice and cool and I didn't have to wear any clothes and everything felt familiar at home. I have bought some new plants - one I actually did not like, but all blogs say it is the most resistant and long lasting, it does not need too much light. So, the question is, should I take the rosemary with me when I leave. It is in a chunky pot and I would have to find an even chunkier container. But, it's the one my parents bought for me and I am sure it will die here. So, there, done, I am taking the rosemary. What about the marjoram? Still having the shits and the GP is busy till Monday.

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