What a fuck up

I fucked it up ; there was a loud knock on the door and I got extremely scared. Someone put his hand through the letter box and I shouted. Oh. It is my landlord. With a strange looking woman. And before I have time to think, I say: who is this weird woman? I actually said, in front of her: who is this weird woman? I mean, I think being weird is a compliment. But, people can be different. Then I was panicking and my heart was beating. What a fuck up. (And you are far and silent and I cannot reach you).