I have a terrible cold and I am determined to destroy other people's selfies. I secretly appear in the background sneezing, spitting or blowing my nose.

What's the first word you said as a child? Μπριτζολα. What does that mean? Steak - medium rare.

My aim this summer is to appear blowing my fat, swollen nose in as many people's selfies as I can master.

If you took care of yourself like you take care of the plumping, life would be different.

He pointed at two fingers hanging from the side platter and said: the fingers are decaffeinated/ gluten free.


I have this urge to text him, one year later, and ask: what did you mean you couldn't give me what I wanted? What did I want?

I mean, I might as well learn something from all this debacle.

Knowing what the secret is, and they know it because they are it.

You didn't know he broke up with me. He broke up via email while I was at the beach drinking beer. I even opened a bond in case his son wanted to move in with us. But there was no real space for his TV in my dream. So, better we split up, I guess.

When mum asked if I'm in a long-term relationship, I got a fever for three days.

cock travellers to me nonetheless.
Despite fractured thing, looking at myself from a different angle changes everything. Wow. What a discovery. You also have to use ear plugs when doing that.

FRACTURED FOOT + FEVER = BED BOUND + NO COCK

what time are you leaving so I know I come back.

I fractured my foot that summer and dad kept saying: my daughter has a limp and keeps running after this boy we don't know. So, I had to introduce my summer fling. Mum asked, while we were all getting drunk: So, when are you moving to London? I said: we are getting married in autumn.

We forgot a melon in the car-boot for a week. it stank and left stains on all our swimming suits.

Mum says: I know I'm your muse.

I haven't fucked Nick and I always wondered why. I'm kind of proud there is one man I haven't fucked and I supposes I should keep it that way.

My parents' foreplay consists in mum saying: I am going to wash my ass and dad asking: why, is there dried shit stuck on it.

Masterpiece Ruins
Last book he was ever reading was something to do with Europe's Ruins. Then he went into a coma.

Am I a total bully? I always shout at my mum with every excuse.

Raw evidence. Simon was lovely in Wroclaw. Then he came back to London and became a dick. Only texted me when he was horny or jet lagged and then he blocked me.

I broke your doorbell cause you wouldn't let me in. And then found a sex cinema ticket on your table. I'm 38 and I pee in my pants every time I sneeze.

No presumptions. Just sex.

Don't want to pressure anything. Just want to fuck you.

Give me more, but not too much, I can't handle it.

Are you Maria Walnut or Maria Walnut? I saw your biopsy. There was no cancer on your walnut. Kaput.
It doesn't go in.
I don't approve of you taking care of other men.

I'll give him my sea towel I just thought about it even if my mum objects cause deep inside is everything fine and I'm grateful for all the comings and goings all the people in my life all the flamboyancy all the love
cause I'm made of love and appetite.
I'm not one thing. Im not a slut.
I'm a slug. I'm a big slug sluggishly roaming around looking for food inside of me and in other people I want to exist because of and despite of everything.