Tuesday, May 17

all crap

I am tired. I am tired of my nostrils. I am tired of being worried and checking my nostrils ALL THE TIME when I am with you. I am happy we are spending some time apart. I need some rest.

I dreamt of being in a class last night. As always, the time run out and I had only run one exercise. How pathetic.

Tuesday, May 10

shit shitty shitty again once again shitty shit you full of shit I full of shit so shitty shit just shut the shitty shit mouth you just shut and shut off you shitty shit you shitty shit so scared and shit so shitty shitty shit thirty is shitty shit
shit shit shit

shit shit shit

shit shit shit

shittier oh my shittier

shit shit shit

shit shit

shit

turning shit

turning thirty

turning thirty shitty shit and no love to hold on to
shit shit shit

shit shit shit

shit shit shit

shittier oh my shittier

shit shit shit

shit shit

shit

turning shit

turning thirty

turning thirty shitty shit and no love to hold on to

Tuesday, May 3

You have accused me before. And I cannot take it any longer. You have accused me for being vulgar. For lacking sophistication, for being unrefined. You have accused be for making explicit or offensive references to sex, for using inappropriate vocabulary, for saying cunt instead of good morning. Not sure what you mean. Not sure what you mean when you say cunt is vulgar. Have you thought about it like this: cunt is cunt and good morning good morning. Good morning cunt, good cunt good morning. Good cunt good cunt good cunt good morning.

Have you thought about it like this:good cunt good, morning, good good good cunt, good cunt good cunt, morning morning. Good morning, good cunt good cunt good morning good good oh goo cunt god cunt good morning.

Have you thought about it like this: good cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt morning cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt good morning.

Have you thought about it like this (now you will say I am pushing it too far or that I am angry; but I am not mister, just trying to prove a point): cunt morning more morning more morning more cunt more cunt more cunt more cunt more morning.

You too have a good day.
in your ass in your wonderful anus in your dream of my asshole I want to stay for ever I want to reveal what is there all the parsnips and cucumbers and rewards and desperate goodbyes. I love your ass. I love your ass more than anything. More than my own anus. More than the thing that has been stuck inside my front tooth for the last five months and I feel like I have a relationship with it. More than the white sheets, the white embroidered sheets my grandmother made for me for the first night of married life. I love your ass more than my job, more than every single first course on this arrogant dinner table.
I will walk until I find you. I will walk alone in the morning in this giant small city full of cardboard and blueberries. And I will have you in mind. Far away from everything I love and puke and smash and dare, I will walk alone in the fucking emptiness of a new city. And I will puke and cry.

Now I am here being so young again for a last time. Can I keep you? Just write to me and tell me, can I keep you? I will not be obsessive or think of your butt 10000000000 thousand times a day. I will just keep you; warm and soft, like you are.

Sunday, May 1

I have to run very fast to get there, to get where I want to get, to get to you. I have been here before. I have walked through this street up and down up and down and down and down and down and up and down and down and down and down and up up up up for many many years, before I met you.
I am leaving. I am leaving. I am leaving this city this bathroom this corridor. I am leaving never to look back. I will go away for a while. I will work in the coal mines and buy you a house. It will be big and handsome and it will never lie. It will only say one word: your name. And I will shout: you cannot reveal it, you cannot reveal the name, because if you do, I will be hurt and you might never talk to me again.

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