I’ve taken my leg out for a walk 

I’m throwing the banana peel in the washing machine and the dirty socks in the rubbish.

are you still waiting around for an answer. no. then what are you doing here. waiting around for an answer. so you are waiting around for an answer. no. so what are you doing here. waiting around for an answer.

no you killed my hard on. I don't care if I like you or not. I just want to play. I want to play here and now, from my bed, from my desktop. I don't care if you are too skinny or too white or have a pink dick. I just want to be me and you to be you and sometimes to lose ourselves into each other. Is that possible. Misscall if yes.

you've given me a task and I keep tapping on my screen so it doesn't get dark. I can't wait till you text me: Five reasons why you wan to meet me in bullet points. You must be horny as fuck. I thought of K today when masturbating. First time in months. That I thought of K. Not that I masturbated. I want my very own AI lover. He will be kind and gentle and affectionate, a little like Dimitris, and a super hottie and an intellectual, and he will have all kinds of ideas why he should be allowed into my home for good. Like he will say things like: I am working  through my neuroses all the time and then I get better and then I start again. Or he will say things like: you seem to have an interesting relationship to sex. I like people who are not scared of their sexuality. Or maybe not. Maybe that's too obvious. Yes, that's too obvious.

wow you are taking that slag thing very personally. You are actually typing for so long. Fucking her, just say it, just press enter, just press enter, come on. Can't stand this waiting. I am not sure I fancy you, I mean you are frail and white and you probably have a pink dick. I mean what good could that be. but I am curious to know why you like me, I am a total slag. You like me because of that or despite of them It better be the latter, you want a latte? no, it better be the latter.

so why do you want to meet me. Cause you are a slag. How to you know that. Cause you are a slag. And how do you know that. Cause you are slag. Slag. And how do you know that cause you a slag. keep fingering my screen. Cause you are a slag. keep playing with my keyboard. Cause you are a slag. Keep doing stuff to my electronic devices. Sexy stuff. Plugging them. You keep plugging my electronic devices cause you are a slag. Slag slag. Not just to charge them. Just to plug them cause you are a slag. Just to properly properly plug them. To properly properly plug them cause you are a slag. Slag. Slag. Slag. Slag. Slag. Slag. Yeah Slag. Cause you are a slag. like a proper one? yeah. Good.

did you call me a slag. yeah. did you call me a slag slag. yeah. I am a slag slag slag. Yeah. did you want me a slag slag slag slag slag yeah. I have to see you later. Make an appointment. Slag.

I am doing much better these days, but I still need to do the washing. The washing machine? No, the washing. The washing machine? no the washing. I need to do the washing. You mean the washing machine. No the washing. The wishy-washing? no the washing. The wishy washy machine? No the washing.

Further up, it's further up. Like down? No, it's further up like down like further up just brush it brush it brush it - pretend your re having sex with Richard D. like non-penetrative sex like he is fingering you for hours and you are running around in a shirt to find the toilet. Like the fingers go everywhere - inside, outside, everywhere, they go up your anus, up your vaginal walls, they extend inside your uterus, they become your baby, your featus your baking bring inside your vagina, it the fingers of Richard D. but its also your featus your feature your featus crying inside your uterus, your tilted uterus is that an issue? no but they might have to do enforced sea section on your forehead. Why on the forehead? Cause the doctor is blind. Are there blind doctors, yes, of course, don't discriminate against the blind.

I found a way to be me and not me at the same time. It's simple. You just keep all things open for a while and move across the pages. This one and another one further down the line. What things matter most: having the space and time not to move too far when you have 1. sore breasts, 2. a fractured food, 3. a headache. Knowing that it's ok to be wrong. It's ok to be angry and if you hurt yourself or someone else, you can still apologise. Or correct your position. Wheel back and forth and correct your position. Not to smooth out the creases, just to be in the place you choose. Is that the right place? No, it's the place you choose. Do I need to say any more? Yes, you do/ do I ? Yes you do, do I, yes you do, Do I, do I really, yes you do. do I? Yes, you do, you fucking do, you fucking fucking do, do I need to say more? Yes, you fucking do.

You know how you text back and forth back and forth with great fervour with someone you’ve just met at a conference who said that your work has got under his skin and then kissed you under the trees? And then suddenly  the messages stop coming and you’d wish you had not sent that last message saying: excellent! Let’s be writing buddies? Yeah, I never do that. I never stop at that really great moment so that I don’t appear too much. I keep going. I keep going and I don’t fucking care, I text him again and again, follow him on Twitter, stalk him on Facebook and like his pics on Instagram I keep going I keep going I keep going 

I think the rhythm is on. It is ready the rhythm.

I dreamt I had to go to military service for three months. I did not have time to cancel my appointments, I was crying, my dad was crying, I took the green jumper with me.

I want to find my men like I am in a charity shop. Look through all the rubbish and then discover this one unique, precious find. This is how it works for me anyway.

THERE AND GROW.
LET THEM GROW AND COVER
THE INSIDES OF YOUR THROAT
AND FURTHER DOWN YOUR STOMACH
YOUR SPLEEN YOUR AORTA.
NOW,  IT'S A GROWING WILD FIELD
IN THERE TAKING OVER
AND THE FUNCTIONS OF YOUR BODY
STOP ONE BY ONE

I can see the addictive pattern. I can never properly look at you, as me, when you are around. I can only look as this other person. The moment you leave, my elbows tall in place, my brow relaxes. I'm still tucking my belly in though just in case
My legs are crossed like a lady and I softly touch my fingers with one another, feeling that I'm still there. I haven't yet disappeared. I still exist despite your absence.
But this is not me either. Cause I've been so close to you it's impossible to feel anything without you.
I can't ever order a drink without you. I wait till you are back from the toilet until I can order another drink. I'm worried the words don't come out properly they will just sound like sound.

Just put your seashells back on and leave me alone. Do you fancy the octopus more?
Yes, but only for foot massage. What's that about stationary? Oh, that's from last year.
I promise I'll never be a sucker again.
Yeah! Be a sucker!
Yeah! Be a sucker!
I promise I'll only fuck with the clouds.
Yeah! Fuck with the clouds!
Yeah! Fuck with the clouds!
I promise, I'll never make stupid faces ever again to a baby (on the plane)
Yeah! Make stupid faces! Yeah!

What do you do? I'm a script writer. I study literature.
I'll never fuck a man with glasses and funny beard. He'd look too much like my dad.

HAVE SOME CRISPS, YEAH
HAVE SOME PRINGLES
HAVE SOME PRINGLES
PAPRIKA YEAH
PUSH THEM DOWN YOUR
THROAT YEAH FURTHER DOWN
LET THEM ROOT IN

I'll come in the night when your baby is asleep and sit on your cock. It will be totally consensual, of course, but you'll be asleep.

Don't call me daddy.
Why
Cause I'm not your daddy.
Yes, you are.
Yes, but not in that way.
what do you mean?
I mean, I'll only be your daddy if you do
the dishes and wear the clothes I ironed
for you and go to spin classes.

Lovesickness is like grieving. So, I use Chris' illness to cry about Kurtis.

Are these boys astonishing? Maybe? I have no idea if they are a distraction or the whole fucking point.

Is focusing on them a way of focusing on you?
Exhausted by all the bullshit. I've seen all the pictures, I went to the exhibitions.
Bring in another boy!
Don't stand still, it will hurt, it will stink, it will burn. Bring in another boy, admit defeat, cover up the pain. Don't miss him, don't miss him, it's too painful, or miss him, but make sure you find someone else quickly. Cover it up, cover it up new. You don't want to be lovesick for too long.

Find someone with gorgeous lips to forget about him. or find a Dom to tell you what to do. Or find someone with a prominent jaw or a beard that goes all the way to their ears, or someone with big eyeballs. But I want him. His eyeballs, his gorgeous lips. No, you have to find someone else, you can't commit to one person again and lose yourself. Just find someone old or young or middle-aged it don't matter. Just anyone. I'm basically looking for holes. Not unbearable holes. Just really spectacular, beautiful holes where I can stick my fingers and toes and relax for the night. I'm basically looking for a snack to nibble on. Not too salty or too sweet, just your average nibble.

You don't owe me anything. We said goodbye by Sainsbury's. You said you like my voice.

But you are awful on the phone. It's ok to have an awful phone manner as long s your bed side manner is good.

I'm so depressed I have a belly. I thin of my belly as an extended field of ugly herbaceous stems that extends beyond where the eye can reach. It is the kind of field that has holes in places and can suck you down. I feel the same about my lower belly, pubes and bones. I never said I don't have Herpes, I only said it's been dormant for a while.

I don't want to meet anyone married for a while. Not for chatting, not for fucking, not for company. This is not for me. All this Simon business has totally put me off. I can never comprehend how the here works. First you totally go for it, utterly overwhelmed by the incredible imaginings of hope - you dance like crazy and fuck up the ass - even the poop doesn't bother you.

THROW UP THE POOP
THROW UP THE POOP

And 8 months later you are tired of his dick and blame the birth control pill. You are in Greece for holidays and your vagina is dry as fuck and the only thing that excites you is designer jewellery or a chocolate donut.

I HOPE ALL THE 

FUCKING KIDS

TRIP OVER SOMETHING 

AND DIE

George, George, say I'ms sorry, say I'm sorry. George, say I'ms sorry, apologise (or we go)

what did you do last night? I put a hammer up my ass (and did a little dance)

I can't do looseness
and I can't do closeness

oh yeah, I see what you mean, totally profound.

ok one more time less hysterically

why does rage have to be contextualised? Even for women, by women? 

what I hate most in my life is someone that pretends they are enjoying themselves 

I missed you, you work too much

I want to meet your needs but I don't want to meet mine. Oh hello how are you?
I want to meet your needs but I want to meet mine.

Not sure what it means to meet in the middle.
Isn't the middle a cliff?

All I asked for was two nights a week off.
What kind of love is this?

How was that?
Yeah, that was amazing. Was it? Yeah, amazing.
Really? Yeah, amazing, especially when like the people held hands and pressed their faces against the wall yeah, that was amazing Yeah.

Did you like that bit where everyone started humming and that woman took off her cocks and started sucking on her toes? Yeah, that was nice.

You didn't think it was, like, profound?
No, I wouldn't say profound, why not? CauseI don't know when was the last time she had a shower.
Why does that matter? Maybe it doesn't matter, buy actually her toes were yellow. Maybe that's just the colour of her toes. No, I am pretty sure it's not.

How do you know? Cause after she sucked them, the toes became white.

Do you like, like, when people do really gentle, nice things for each other? No, I fucking hate that.

Do you like when contemporary dancers have this, like, empty look in their eyes, like they are looking and not looking at the same time?
Or when they open their mouth slightly and sort of smile without actually being happy? What do you make of that? That's just contemporary dance.
Do you like when dancers pair their pyjamas with a really nice t-shirt and call that a costume?

Someone is dying and I'm asking them who is their favourite actor so that they remain alive.

BITTER

I WILL END UP LIKE THAT BITTER OLD LADY - HER FACE TASTES BITTER LIKE LIME

TOTALLY KNACKERED BY BREXIT

All these men never shutting up all these business men never shutting up doing business
on the go over the phone, never shutting up

I'm such a business man, doing business, I'm such an incredible business man, doing business
I'm so sorry I hear it didn't work out with that company

This is my friend Connie. This is my dear friend Connie. Connie is a pervert. He's been looking at me blatantly from the moment I walked in.

Connie will probably go for a Turkish after this. You know, the really dirty kind.

Don't stick your tongue out
Why?
Because I want to chop it off.
How would you do that?
With a machete.
I think you should do it with a loan mower.

verge of misogyny
all the things I can fuck

what becomes of a sound

not to avoid pain but to go deeper into it and understand it

is it weird that your mum looks more asian than mine?

oh, my armpits are warm

The adults are here
but the one is half drunk
and the other a goat

I've got small tits
and long hair
and I've got a rabbit that's
all I've got...≥≥≥.

STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DICK

DROP ME OFF HERE

I HATE YOU

LET'S GET AIRNBN BITH

LET'S GET AIR BN BITCH

if I wasn't me, would I hate me?

How to engage with something so difficult it leaves you speechless. Does your piece have production values? No, but it has values.

opening up in all places

opening everywhere

SEX? NO, HEX.

I'M SO AWKWARD I'M NERVOUS

PUT A HEX ON PERPETRATORS OF VIOLENCE

I'M NOT GOING TO TOUCH YOU

BRACE YOURSELF PATRIARCHY

I'M IN A BAD MOOD

WHAT A BORE

WHAT A WILD BORE

GREEK FOOD IS SHIT

BUCKLE UP PATRIARCHY

FARTING TOO MUCH

I SHAT MY PANTS ON OUR FIRST DATE

Would I be happier if I cam here every morning? Surrounded by the Youngs and the oldies and the vape users?

Would I be happier if you texted me every morning that you loved me? Remember you used to do that thing long time ago, then you became a girl.

My hollow stomach cannot stop thinking of you. But it is not you I am thinking it is someone else. It is someone with a good English accent and a perfect phone manner. Someone that knows how to cross their legs and eat a pain au chocolat and graduate from school next year.

My foot is broken but mostly I am worried about my heart. Cause this is too much pressure to bear, too much pressure to worry that it has to be dramatic or forceful all of the time.

They gynaecologist suggested that I do not have polycystic ovaries anymore. Where are my cysts? Have they abandoned me?

Have they gone gone gone with not return? I feel left alone and I cannot say anything to complain cause apparently that's a good thing.

Fuck the storytelling. Fuck the funny storytelling. I just don't want to feel reliable anymore. I don't want to feel reliable. I want to roam around like a bitch, a big bitch in the streets and carry my left foot with me Aron Aron

I want to grow in a different hole away from here

there we go, here we go

here is the problem of this emptiness

is that really a problem?, no, it's more of an enigma

is it like an enigmatic problem where your mother dies in the second episode and you move into a fish tank?

other ways of living, growing, making love

I'm farting too much

what is the problem with this place?

HOLE
HOLE

HOLE

Some people hate their holes some people want to get rid of them some people want more holes

Two beans on credit
I don't want to get pregnant
so I'm growing
a nest on my head
it helps me because
my nest is coming
everywhere with me
it's another hole

HOLE
HOLE

HOLE

My baby only has
one leg one
belly button
one pair of shoes -
it's not a baby it's
a root
it's a root that
probably won't grow