I went to Melinda’s wedding today. Onur came with me. We spoke to people we had never met and pretended to say cheers in Hungarian. I cried a little when they promised to love and to care for each other forever. What does that forever mean? What is it about it that makes people stick to each other through thick and thin? Is it the fear of solitude? Or the desire to belong? I saw an old friend in the wedding. He said so many nice things about me. I had nothing nice to say about him. I thought he was not very nice until today. He told me he needed to get phased in order to express his emotions and he was clearly pissed then. He revealed his is a senior engineer something something but that that was not him. He wasn’t senior anything. You are senior to me. I wanted to say. A senior dick. No, that’s too harsh for someone that shows vulnerability. Besides, Onur says I shouldn’t be judgemental. Walked to the station through the corn fields, it was lovely. Now heading home with my open heart and being grateful for my warm salad with eggplant and tomatoes I’ll be having imminently. 

Epsom Downs

What did you say? Epsom Downs. You ve been struggling with ups and downs? No, I’m going to Epsom Downs.