Why the child wants the shit

To rub it on himself.
To take good hold of it and rub it on himself.
To take good good (guv guv) hold of it and rub it on himself
To cry hard all night long
To take good and bad and good good (guv guv) hold of it and rub it on himself.

The child: Plots this in every detail
The child: buys the five meter rope, the matches, the hollow buckett
The child: ties the buckett with the rope and lights the matches
The child: burns the rope slowly that leads to the buckett
The child: places a big fat sausage on the edge of the buckett
The sausage: provokes the dog's big nose
The child: approaches the dog
The child: threatens the dog
The child: gets closer
The child: gets closer
The child: cathches the dog in the buckett the rope still burning the matches all over the place
The child: takes the shit
The child: takes the shit
The child: gets hold of the shit
The child: gets good good hold of the shit and rubs it all over himself.

I have met someone. Someone new and tall. And I still despair. I won't be around to see it when it comes, I won't be around because I am too old and too fat for a cylinder to run smoothly down the slope. I am sure there will be holes on the way and bumps, the road will be wet and the snow thick.

I have never experienced such loneliness and such despair. Four out of five people I meet don't know my name. And the fifth hesitates. All alone in a city that pretends to be itself, in a city that does not know its own name. Breeeendaaaaaan, I shout. Breeendaaaaan. Only you and your cycinysm can save me out of this fucking misery. Please, come move in with you. I won't harass you. I will only photocopy the pages you like, I will stay put in case of emergency. I will eat my chicken, I will clean your ears. I will never force you when it comes to sex. I can't live like this. Without you and on my own.

how to do it, how to do it slowly without pain, how to do it so that you only know it is happening, how to do it with no sound, with no door creak, how to do it in the dark, how to do it in the dark, how to do it without a candle or two, how to do it without killing yourself, without contemplating to kill yourself, without regretting not havivng done so. The days pass and I wonder; how to do it.

I am so horny and bored I could die right here and right now without even considering the depths of the fucking shit that disguises as my future. What is this and why am I here? In a city with only acquaintances and no friends in the middle of a shitty town. Be patient be patient and eat your shit and only bark during the night. The beach is now far away and all the times I cried because of you I have forgotten you piece of shit. I only remember the morning when I woke up sweaty in the heat of the athenian breeze with pants on and no dignity when you had fallen asleep in the middle of my despair.

It is not you, darling, it really is not you....I absolutely adore you, it is not you or your difficulty to express your feelings, you disappearing for days without telling me where you are, it is really not you, darling. It is your chest hair. It is this butch of black thick wig hair you have underneath your chin in between your eyes your mouth your shoulders. It is this little bird nest where ostriches lay their eggs, this seaweed swamp. I am sorry darling, I cannot deal with all the eggshells and moss, this big mess in between your shoulders.

someone calls me from Greece. My uncle Haralampos is dead. But I cannot remember him. My dad says you really loved him, but I can't remember him. You really loved him and he is dead. And I cry these unknown tears until the morning.

Hit me, darling

Lola looks beautiful in her red and silver bow gown. She pulls her foot pump as if it was a little dog.

Come here doggy, yes, come here.

She looks at the audience in front of her.

Everyone in the audience needs to calm down. Just calm down, everyone and come closer.

She has stolen this opening phrase from Stephen, from the AWesomeness that Stephen is to her.

My tulip is yours. My big fat beautiful tulip is yours.

She is standing on the left pulling something from within her breast, but it is not a tulip.

For you, for whenever you want to visit me.

She looks ahead, motionless.

This is for you, for not wanting to do this thing with me.

How long could you stay away from my round genitals, my perfectly shaped like a circle fallopian tubes my hairy scurry disgusting labium; a slight sigh hanging from your collar. You take off your socks because you want to, because you have eaten too much and I fall asleep in the middle of the night. How dare you, how dare you hang your excrement from your ass, how dare you fall asleep in the same way that I did, in the same way that my dad inserted a scarf inside his pants in the summer time.

In this bit the audience is invited to throw stuff at Lola in an attempt to hit her. Lola gets really upset if no one attempts to throw anything at her.

Just strike and slap, just smack and spank, just hit me darling
Just punch and thump, just punch and thump, just hit me darling
Just bash and bop and beat and pop
Just hit me darling

Just smash into me
Just smack into me
Just hit me darling

Just strike and dawn and come and gone
Just hit me darling

And if you hit me I will love you more
And if you smack me I will be your doll
And if you bop and clip and sock
I will be your sock
I will be your sock

Just smash into me
Just smack into me
Just hit me darling

Lola takes a deep breath, extending her arms.

Your beautiful round bottom is full of nonsense tonight. Yesterday I was someone else yes you know that you have seen it before I have seen it before so many times. An afternoon and then BAM BAM BAM I am dead I have shot my self without noticing while having breakfast on the seaside. Somewhere between you and me I will find the truth. I will walk, it won't take long. And I will let you know, because I am not selfish, just slightly scared in case I get there first. I will let you know how it all happened in a BAM BAM BAM and I am dead I shot my self without noticing while having lunch on the seaside.

Lola takes off her silver gown. She is now wearing a giant red tulle net scarf around her tender neck and some knickers.

this is the worst part of it to wait for you to finish wiping off your ass and come and kiss me. You seem to wipe off your ass quite softly in a slow pace your left leg extended. Your right arm does the whole job, the left slightly lifted is pressed against the door. Balance is important to you and symmetry. You always have to find the perfect position. No weird angles or all that shit. Just smoothness and leaning.

At this point Lola takes her favourite foot pump and starts pumping a red balloon

VOILa, ladies and gentlemen, my small parcel, my tiny tiny small parcel, which hops and parades, looking for you, longing for you, BURNING for you, can I open it, can I open it, ladies and gentlemen, can I open it please, no, not here, not here, ladies and gentlemen, better at home, better at home.

Stepern, you do the doggy now, come on doggy

Lola is thirsty and asks a boy in the audience for a sip. He tells her she can keep the can.

my little doggy dog chews its hair every time a passer by caresses it. My little doggy dog chokes with its hair every time a passer by caresses it. My little doggy dog dies with its hair every time a passer by caresses it. Spit it out boy, spit it out.

Lola barks every time she barks

This dance is called: You hurt your back.

Lola looks at the beautiful boy on the front (his name is Brendan) and dedicates this piece to him

It's all about the time when you hurt your back and you were being such a pussy, a big, fat, smelly pussy, breaking up with me in the middle of the street, in the middle of this big, fat, smelly street, just because you hurt your back. Look out for the pelvis turning around. It describes you being a pussy. I request that the camera zooms into my pussy in this particular bit. It's likely that this dance will make you feel like a big, fat, smelly pussy.

Dear Stephen

you make me burn and swift and pamper all over the place. I am just
pampering now, Stephen, i am pampering all over the place. I love you
Stephens, I love you and I have to make your name sound a little
awkward each time, oh Stephern

I have nothing in my arms; nothing to give you, only a short small shy stroke on the forehead, but you do not take it. You let it fall, the law of gravity, you say, and I believe you.

Lola thanks the audience and walks away with a half empty beer can.

12 August, Agnus Hughes Gallery

I would like to begin I begin I would like to begin at the beginning, I begin by beggining by saying I begin by saying that I begin by beginning.

I would like to begin by beggining but I will begin in the beginning when I begin it will be surely the beginning. I begin when I begin when I begin when I begin when you let me begin at the beggining.

Now you begin. Now this is you beginning. This is your beginning and I would hate taking it away from you. DO you know what a begining is? And is it already the begining? DO you know what it means to begin? I begin with you again here and now, I will cry if I keep beginning, every year with you here and now.

This is your beginning you begin the way you want to, you begin without even beginning.

You came to see me and you are amazing. I love your jean short, your fiery hair, your fingers on my pussy. Yesterday, when I was pissing this sounded better. It was more honest and to the point, like you. You always make up words, like Baba and asshole. YOu are perfect and brilliant and a big fucking asshole.

I walk on a paved road, with two high walls, a little bridge. My bag is heavy, I have a big heavy bag and I am falling. It is the books, I am convinced or not the books, it is my legs perhaps that are not strong enough. There is this man and woman there who are cooking something. They push me, they give me a push because they also think it is the bag, they push me hard on the back to help me. Then at home, I wash my dirty feet and the staircase floods, the salad has gone straight into the drainer and has blocked it. the water is everywhere and my sister speaks with her mouth full, something about a choir, she has found a new choir and she does not even invite me.

this is based on you wanting me wanting you
if I come close during the night you pull over
just pull over near the break near the hand break I am telling you/u
just pull over when i come close to you during the night

If I come close to you during the day you lean over
lean over next to me near the gear lean over
just lean over near my gear near the break lean over

if I come close to you during the afternoon you bend over
bend over I am telling you/u just bend over
this song is rubbish I am telling you just bend over

come near me during the night, during the day and bend over

If I come close to you during the evening you toss over
toss over I am telling you/u just toss over
just lean over, bend over, toss over, I am telling you/u

Just pull over near the break near the gear near the break just toss over

da capo

mock performance

I promised I would write a mock performance when I got back home this evening. I am back home now. This is a mock performance:

I am paraphrasing. My tulip is yours. My big fat beautiful tulip is yours.

She is standing on the left pulling something from within her breast, but it is not a tulip.

For you, for whenever you want to visit me.

She looks ahead, motionless.

For you, for not wanting to do this thing with me. I know why. I do not wonder why. Because you have seen it all, you have stayed far from home for a few days, you missed your mirror, the golden arcades of my nostrils, the feathers and dirty towels next to the sink. You have seen it all. The bang bung taratatzum, the here and there. And you do not want to be here, in this white space, full of bullshit. I know you, because you've seen it all.

Don't you see it, don't you see it, we have been lying, I scream. I have been lying to you and you have been lying to me. You want it now, you want it now and hard and hot.

Now Stephen comes in. He is AWWWesome, he is as AWWWesome as it ever gets. He wonders around the room, holding some paprika and three tulips.

Where did you find these? I ask, who gave you these?

I am not entirely sure, Stephen replies. I got them from within your breasts when you were sleeping. Noooo, I scream, you are lying, you have been lying all along.

This is crap, this is all crap. Go ahead and bite my nail. I have walked purposefully through parsnips, and, run past a rhododendron, I've even tiptoed around triffids. However I do nothing near tulips.

I hate it when you do this, I shout. It does not really fit in your hand. You might hold it, a little bit, but you won't hold it the way it's meant to be. Why? Because it's split up at the bottom. It might just about fit. It's split up in your hand. It just about stays in. Made in Taiwan. Does it pop? Oh, yes, it pops a little bit. Ohhh! Yeaaah! So that's it, a few of you a few of me lying and somehow never wondering why.

Stephen is clearly upset. She goes back to where she started and starts again.

I am paraphrasing. My tulip is yours.

why don't you do it, darling? I am far away anyhow, I don't have to see it, I don't have to see you shoving it up another woman's bottom, caressing her orchids with your tiptoes, smelling like your beautiful bottom once smelled near me. Why don't you just go into the

my tulip is yours

I have walked purposefully through parsnips, and, run past a rhododendron, I've even tiptoed around triffids. However I do nothing near tulips.

[Thanks Philip]

I hate when you do this. It does not really fit in your hand. You might hold it, a little bit, but you won't hold it the way it's meant to be. Why? Because it's split up at the bottom. It might just about fit. It's split up in your hand. It just about stays in. Made in Taiwan. Does it pop? Oh, yes, it pops a little bit. Ohhh! Yeaaah! So that's it, a hundred eighty nine added to my collection.


[Thanks Jamie]

poor bastard

I am now clean from all the summer dirt the one that goes straight into your anus and does not let you sleep, the one that whispers to you late at night before you have the chance to wash it off. I am a lady now. I am wearing my pearl earrings, I hold a note pad and a pencil, I scratch my crotch only when no one is looking. I don't love you anymore. It took a while. It should have happened faster, I reckon. No big dramas or fellow tears or pasta dreams or rose petals. I am done with you darling. I am doing this: I have my pubics high on my belly, I am a poor bastard, I hold your hand and climb the hill. This is my hill, I shout, this is my hill, my pubes, my saggy tits, my wasted years.