coffin

I had a dream. I dreamt that my dad died. He was far away. When I spoke to him last in the phone he said I miss you so much and I said nothing. In the dream he came with me to buy his coffin. My dad’s coffin, which looked like a birthday cake, had the shame of my mum’s initial ‘K.’ And I was thinking in my dream, this is not a dream, this is not a dream, I will not wake up relieved and crying. Then, the payment for the coffin went trhough, because it was a work day, and my mum called to ask why I had spent £400 for a (death) box. Then, I woke up relieved and crying.

Uma

First you called me Uma. (What does it mean, I do not know.) You held my hand in yours, you looked at me through your thick lenses, that make your eyes look like fish inside the glass, you started dribbling. You dribbled and dribbled for hours. Then you shaved your moustache. It was a thick dark moustache underneath your glasses. You shaved it and your jaw suddeny looked like a jawfish jawline. You cut your upper lip and the mark of blood looked like a beauty spot in a different place. I hated that spot. I knew it was not a real beauty spot, and that it would go away after a while, but I couldn’t help thinking, thank god I did not kiss you, thank god I did not press my lips against yours, against the beauty spot. Now, I think I would throw up if I had kissed you, I would throw up in advance or as an afterthought. I would throw up as an afterthought.

That spot, that spot, on the top of your lip, caused from your clumsy shaving caused me nausea. Your clumsy bloody shaving. You took off your glasses and you never talked to me again. Thank god I did not kiss you, thank god. Then your moustache grew back overnight.

I have a house

I have a house, I have a house with two doors. I have a house with three doors. I have a house with four doors. I have a house.
I have a house with one blanket, two blankets, three blankets. I have a blanket with one door, two doors three doors. I have a belly full of blnakets. I have an ear. I have an ear, two ears, three ears. I have a mouth.
When I open the door, I hear. When I open the blanket, I hear. How much to feel, how much to hear.
I have a house. I have a house with one window, I have a house with two windows, three windows, how much to see. I have a belly. I have a liver.

I have three houses, four doors, five blankets, six or seven ears. How much to hear.

My toe is cold. My hair is cold. My blanket, my ear is cold. My eyebrow is getting cold, my ribs are freezing, my finger is cold my thumb is brizzing.

Feel fall fallen fall felt felt felt felt dry felt dry cold felt there you go with your goats and cows there you go with your wisdoms and crowns

My little toe whispers:
The winter is spring the winter is strong
String strong is my hair white
String strong is my hair why

String strong is my hair blonde
String strong is my hair blind

My belly whispers:
Fell fall fallen fell unlike the rain
Feel fall fallen fell unlike the sun and like the train

My little toe whispers: someone somehow went away
Went to the shop to bye bye bye bye the shop bye bye

My little toe whispers: are you a storyteller are you a story teller
Keep up keep up and stick to it kep up

My fingers touch my fingers touch my fingers touch my fingers I take the string I make a knot are you a storyteller my little toe why are you so short I m a story teller my little toe

My placking tow sighs, my lacking toe lies, my blacking toe flies, my clapping toe cries.

I have one house to cry one house to laugh one bench to lie one bench to lunch one house to try one house to crash one bench to die one bench to last one house to dry one house to brush one bench to die one bench to last

Tim

I wake up in the morning and he is liying on the bed next to me. Tim? I say. Yes, he says, it’s me. Tim, Tim Endkins? NO, no, Etchells, Tim Etchells. He laughs and he makes vulgar jokes and I laugh too, although not sure he is very funny. Then I realise you lie on the other side of the bed. I 've known you for years, so I can talk about love without prohibitions. Would you love me more or less if I did this or that? I would love you they say. Then I realise you are not my boyfriend, you are somebody else’s boyfriend, but we are together. My boyfrined, who doesn’t like to be called a boyfriend, is far away for the time being. So, I tell you, can we not kiss anymore, until my boyfriend comes back? Yes, you say, but, what about Tim? Yes, what about Tim? Oh yes, yes, Tim.

pack off

Pack of pack off you son of a litch pack off
You packing betrayed my feelings you asslock
You pack off you packing asslock you son of a litch you terrible creature
And now I am here loving you with all my part all my part loves you and misses you you asslock you son of a litch you packing terrible creature
Pack off pack off I can’t even talk to my glister anymore I cannot even talk to my blister,
I cannot even talk to my pister anymore, I cannot even talk to my fister