Friday, February 26

It is late again. How is it possible that every night is late. That everyday is late. Late and dark and laid. Late and laid and dark. And laid and laid and late and dark. How is it. How is it. How is it. Each moment will not be the same again. The moment I met you and the moment I met you. In your terms. Twice. When you were waiting on the staircase. when This staircase, i said, this staircase. Now I go up and down the staircase up and down and you do not wait anymore. Me or you or the steps or the mads, the craps the loneliness. I sit in the milk to cool down. Cool down baby, cool down.

Thursday, February 25

Pussy repair instructions

I wake up. I have a pussy and a vagina. I have a pussy licking and a vagina brushing. I visit lick.com to search for repairing instructions. What I need is this: a portable torch, a fire extinguisher, in case of emergency, a pussy fitting wire brush, sand paper and steel wool.

Step 1
Turn off the water in the pussy. Drain all the existing water with a soft cloth (you didn't tell me I need a cloth!)
Step 2
Measure and cut the pussy pipe. Be sure to include any needed extra space for elbows and junction pieces.
Step 3
Gently, apply a thick coating of soldering paste to the surface of the pussy and leave it to dry. Do not walk or pee.
Step 4
Assemble all of your pieces together before putting them into place with existing, old, broken pussies.
Step 5
Make sure you have quick and easy access to a fire extinguisher since you are using an extremely hot torch in a potentially highly flammable situation.
Step 6
Allow pussy to cool down and you are ready for action again! Handle with care. Do not expose to high temperatures. Do not use inflammables near your recently repaired pussy.
Now you read this. You read this and think that it is about you. Now you read this and think it is about you and me and all our moments. The private ones. Let me tell you something. This IS about you and me and all our private moments. But also, it is not. Now you read this and think I am confusing. And crazy and cruel and crying. And other adjectives that start with C. And gerunds. You sit next to me and the moments I like the best are the moment you touch me. When you touch me when I do not touch you. Because then I can feel you more. I look at your hand on my thigh. It is the hand of a doll with five fingers and five fingernails. I am always amazed at counting your fingernails. Your toes is a different story.
So so so scared that you will never see me again. So so scared. Not that you will never call, but that you will never see me again. As I am now. As I am now with you. And each moment I will change and turn into a witch boring terrible person. Each moment I will grow hair in my armpits and legs and beard. I will grow hair and you will never see me again. I will look outside your window and the city will be here.
I came home last night and threw up. I threw up all the good moments and bad moments, all the moments apart. I threw up the moments spent in the company of others, the moments drinking tea and walking on the grass. The moments when the kettle is on and you wear nothing but a cup of tea. I came home last night and I threw up all the kisses, the hugs, the words that never meant a thing. All the here and now and me and you. I threw up and all my life was vomit. Yellow, green and blue.

gift

I dreamt you gave me a present. The present was you and you were made of different things, all that I liked. You held me and your nose fell, your yellow nose.

Friday, February 12

I dreamt a girl
we had a vagina in common
I screamed, 'it's mine!'
She screamed, 'it's mine!'
I screamed 'It's mine, oh mine!'
She screamed, 'It's yours!'

Tuesday, February 2

I dreamt I had a borrowed child, whose first word was my name and I could feel the weight of his body against mine. Then I had to post him back.

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